Nothing I’ve ever done has scratched the surface of what I want to do.
Wyeth Walk #17
All bundled up against a cold wind, overcast sky. I was in the mood for music today, so buried beneath my layers, earbuds listening to Marc-Andre Hamelin playing Haydn piano sonatas. Perfection. Every note perfectly placed in the compositions, every note perfectly balanced in the performance. 20 years ago I never would have imagined myself being happy playing Haydn, I was so much into improvisation and dramatic pauses and stretching my time- structure and hours in the practice room on tiny details seemed like a burden to me. But, I have changed. In the past 6 years I have come to love Haydn, and the comfort I get from playing, studying, and searching for technical mastery of his pieces. His F minor variations were my constant companion in my pregnancies- something extremely comforting about playing an emotionally charged highly structured piece that moves my fingers in the perfect ways.
In any case, today, listening to Hamelin playing Haydn, I am missing the practice room, and I am amazed by all the music in the world I would love to learn to play, and spend hours and hours and hours working on every detail, to live and breathe the music – certainly way more than I could ever do in this lifetime. It has been a few months since my classical concerts- I’ve been focusing on family and visions and goal setting. A necessary break for life balance, but I know I will be back in the practice room soon, and I am really looking forward to it!
The buds are starting on the cherry trees! Somehow the buds of what is to come seemed like a nice pairing to my daydreaming of the practice room.
Feb 5, Chester County PA, temp 27F